Mercy Is The Loser's Meat

"I always believed as a speechwriter that if you could persuade the president to commit himself to certain words, he would feel himself committed to the ideas that underlay those words. And the big shock to me has been that, although the president said the words, he just did not absorb the ideas. And that is the root of, maybe, everything."

That's David Frum, Mr. "Axis Of Fill-In-The-Blank," lamenting George W. Bush's inability to appreciate his genius concerning the Middle East, primarily Iraq. And now look where it's gotten us! Frum isn't alone in his moaning; numerous neocons blame Bush for not invading Iraq their way, the right way. Had he only listened to the music in their advice, the president, the military, and the Iraqis would be much better off. Want evidence? It's all in their words, plenty of which are spilled across the latest issue of Vanity Fair. If there is a gassier, more self-stroking crowd than the neocons, I definitely don't want to know about it.

We should be used to their ass-covering by now, the only serious public stance these fuckwads have left. But what got me about this piece wasn't so much their rhetoric, which I'm more than familiar with, but their posing, captured by photographer Nigel Parry. A reflective, honest person who recommended and urged on a human disaster would most likely hide his or her face in shame. Not this gang. Far from feeling any true regret for the damage they helped cause, they have the nerve to rub our faces in theirs, posing as if the Weekly Standard had centerfolds. I mean, look at former CIA director James Woosley:




What's with the natty little tug at the tie knot? Oh, James, you stylish brute! And of course David Frum affects the tried and true "brainy" pose:




Shameless. Absolutely shameless. A just and civilized society would sentence these assholes to emptying bedpans and changing dressings at Walter Reed hospital, not allow them to preen in a glossy mag aimed at high-end consumers. Better still, send them to Iraq to help with the wounded and maimed there. Force them to get their hands wet with blood and guts, to witness up-close the pain and suffering they advocated in safer climes. If they refuse this duty, bring back public docks and let passers-by pelt them with rotting fruit. Sociopaths like them need to be contained, not turned into Gap models. But given our criminal culture, where we slaughter countless thousands and shrug our shoulders when called on it, such promotion is inevitable. And the neocons know it. No one who promotes US state violence on behalf of corporate elites will ever be truly punished. That's the system we live in.

Liberals can and often do play this card as well. I've offered many examples in this space, but this week's howler comes from Brad DeLong, Berkeley professor, Clinton apologist, and all-around scumbag. After Jeane Kirkpatrick died, DeLong, crying on his keyboard, wrote:

"[Kirkpatrick] was an American and a world patriot: her counsel--even at its most boneheaded--was always devoted to advancing the security of the United States and the cause of liberty and prosperity around the world."

Priceless. There's no point in reviewing the actual results of Kirkpatrick's counsel, for DeLong doesn't care. Death squads are just fine with him. Of course, DeLong would never help to massacre an entire peasant village himself; his job is to provide justifications for mass murder. And while the dying scream amid the general carnage, DeLong goes about his day, stuffing his fat face with God knows what, secure in the knowledge that he'll never encounter such hellish conditions. He truly is garbage wrapped in skin.

My friend Dwayne Monroe, upon reading DeLong's little epitaph, noted:

"The key word [from DeLong] is 'boneheaded' as in mistaken, but in a lovable -- and mark, completely forgivable -- way.

"Really, these gentle words aren't that surprising are they? In the popular imagination, Washington stumbles from one well meant misadventure to another. Surely, only hoarse-voiced, wild-eyed radicals differ on this point, using terms such as 'war crimes' and other uncharitable phrases.

"And since the US as an entity is well meaning, even if "boneheaded" at times in the execution of its lofty aims, it follows that her humble foreign policy servants are just plain folk, trying their best to, as DeLong writes '[advance] the security of the United States and the cause of liberty and prosperity around the world.'

"I'm sure that in years to come, when Cheney and Bush leave this mortal coil, someone will be writing misty-eyed remembrances of their contributions to human development.

"I suspect that even if all our cities were reduced to ashes in a Washington-engineered global cataclysm, some American would find the time, as the strontium 90 gently fell, to sigh over the world's failure to appreciate our devotion -- sometimes "boneheaded" but always as kindly intentioned as a pie baking grandmama -- to liberty and prosperity."

Suffice it to say, Dwayne is a much kinder man than me.

But enough of this negativity. There'll be plenty more of that next week. Let's get to our Friday clips.

I just came across this the other day, and it was the first time I'd seen it. Michael Palin, Terry Jones, and Graham Chapman of Monty Python discussing "The Life of Brian" on Tom Snyder's "Tomorrow" in 1979. No need to analyze. Just watch. Great stuff.

BASTARDS: Nothing great lasts forever, or even for a weekend. The Python clips are gone. YouTube dangles then snatches away.







Here's a YouTube anomaly -- a "Fridays" sketch without Larry David or Michael Richards (though Richards' voice does appear). Mark Blankfield and Bruce Mahler take a shot at the then-still rising religious right, which "Fridays" did on a more consistent basis than did "SNL" (but then, "Fridays" was much more political than the show that spawned it). Some of the jokes may seem tired today, especially since "Mr. Show" did its share of anti-fundamentalist humor; but few were making them in 1980-81 on national television, for fear of offending Jerry Falwell and those connected with the incoming Reagan administration. "Fridays" was an exception.



And finally, here's a fine musical piece by Ernie Kovacs, from one of his ABC specials in the early-60s. I've introduced the boy to Kovacs as part of his comedy education, and he loves the strangeness of Kovacs' vision. In this bit, the boy especially likes the whistling pencil sharpener, as do I.

Have a great weekend.