Monday, April 18, 2005

Backyard Warrior

"Remember the Alamo! Shoot 'em! . . . To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."

So screamed Ted Nugent at the NRA's annual convention on Saturday. The former arena rock act's been wailing like this for some time, informing everyone in earshot how he likes to kill kill kill, is heavily-armed, wants to ram the flag up some fag vegetarian's ass, is a flesh-eatin' breeder of the backwoods, etc. It's a profitable shtick. There are millions of like-minded lib-haters who dream of a Pure State where white men may fuck, kill, rape and pillage without the commie federal govt's interference. Nugent plays up the fantasy beautifully. From his website:

"my sheer passion & determination to squash the antigun libscum out there scares the shit out of sheeplike status quo farts of terminal unsophistication. my guitar cannot gently weep. MY Natl Anthem is my battlecry. I perform it with maximum soul, spirit, fire, passion & joy. Whomever fails to grasp that total positivity is simply a fool. The attendance record I again set at my NRA presentation was wall to wall fellow passionate, musically & politically sophisticated American families from every walk of life that unanimously celebrated our wonderful battlecry in all its perfection. I jam on."

As gun-ho as Nugent currently is, waving rifle and flag as C4 blasts around him, he didn't have quite the same martial spirit when he was draft age in the late-60s.

According to a piece in the July 15, 1990 Detroit Free Press Magazine, Nugent "claims that 30 days before his draft board physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days, he ingested nothing but Vienna sausages and Pepsi; and a week before his physical, he stopped using bathrooms altogether, virtually living inside pants caked with his own excrement, stained by his urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment, he says. '... but if I would have gone over there, I'd have been killed, or I'd have killed, or I'd killed all the hippies in the foxholes...I would have killed everybody.'"

Oh, I believe it. If this photo of Nugent and some liberal raccoons is any indication, the Vietnamese and the foxhole hippies would've had no chance.