Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Interlude




Took the boy trick-or-treating last night, and as always, I had a great time with him. My son is one of the most agreeable, positive, joyful people I know -- he hasn't a trace of cynicism in him. Down the darkened, leaf-cluttered sidewalks he ran, long black & red cape fluttering behind him, big slanted smile under the white make up.

"Dad, I don't think there's a better day than Halloween."

"Really? Better than Christmas?"

A pause to think. "Well, maybe .5 better than Christmas."

Then he was off to the next decorated door, always thanking the person handing him candy and wishing them Happy Halloween.

Times like these fill me with happiness, but also some dread, for I know that my son's attitude can't last. Or can it? Given the horrors of our times, I don't see how a kid like him can maintain such a positive outlook as he grows and matures; but then I'm prone to dark moods and a saddened resignation, so I'm not the final word on the topic, thank God. I often chide myself for giving in to despair far too easily, and I don't want to saddle the boy with all the bullshit in my head. Yet, when I tap into his upbeat vibe, I momentarily recapture those exuberant moments from my younger days when time meant nothing, and I'm reminded that not everything's a drag, that happiness is not an illusion but a choice, an opportunity. People have found and continue to find happiness in even the most depressing circumstances. They couldn't go on without it. So what's my sorry excuse?

I know my son suspects that there are bad things Out There, but for now it doesn't faze him or slow him down a bit. His optimism remains contagious. He moves to the music in his head, and judging from the look on his face and the bounce in his step, it must be one beautiful arrangement.